Compiled by Teresa
Martin Klaiber Feb. 2020
I have several genealogical lines that
embraced the Quaker faith. The Society
of Friends was founded in England, by George Fox. They believed that God exists in every person
and believed in spiritual equality for men and women alike. They were pacifists that in many cases
refused to take legal oaths nor fight.
They were abolitionists in Colonial America.
They were forbidden to marry outside their
faith. They were forbidden to bear arms. While they were not forbidden to drink
alcohol they were forbidden to drink in excess.
They dressed plainly and were forbidden to dance. Almost everything they did in colonial time
was reported to a committee set up for both men and women in their faith.
I have a double direct McGrew line on my
maternal side. Two McGrew sisters
married eventually bringing their lines back together, while another sister
married into another yet another branch of my family. At least 11% of the dna flowing in my veins is
Scotch Irish from both my maternal and paternal family.
There were nine children in Finley And Dinah
Cox McGrew’s family. Both Finley and
wife Dinah Cox McGrew are buried in Sewickley Friends Cemetery, Westmoreland
County, Pennsylvania. Finley was active
on many committees, as required, in the Quaker minutes. Their first son John
was born in October 1760.
The second son, James Cox McGrew was born in
1762. James Cox McGrew kicked up his heels a bit. The committee took action. The 13th day of the 3rd
month 1786:
“Whereas James McGrew son of Finley had a
right of membership amongst us the people called Quakers but hath given way so
far to a libertine spirit as to be guilty of taking strong drink to excess and
dancing for which disorderly conduct we disown him the same James McGrew from
being any longer a member of our Religious Society until his future recommend
him worthy.”[i]
I especially like the use of the word
libertine in the written record. While the definition means without moral principles
it also represents a free thinker in the matters of religion.
But James Cox McGrew was not the first
sibling to get in trouble with the church.
Mary, daughter of Finley and Dinah McGrew was written up in the Menallen
Women’s Monthly Meeting 12 day 1st month of 1784.
"Huntingdon Meeting informs that Mary the
daughter of Finely [sic] McGrew hath left the parts in a disorderly manner with
a young man in the night season which being considered in this meeting it is
thought best to appoint a friend to unite with Men friends in writing to some
friends of Hopewell Monthly Meeting and endeavour to inform themselves whether
or no or in what manner she was married, therefore Alice Hendricks is appointed
for that service who is desired to report to a future meeting."
Mary had married 25 September 1784 Jacob Ong.
Jacob’s father was Jeremiah Ong. (Mary McGrew Ong is the compilers 5th
great aunt).
4 Jun 1784: Menallen Monthly Meeting minutes: "The Friends appointed in the case of Mary Ong, formerly
McGrew report they performed the service and a testimony was produced to this
meeting which was approved and signed being as follow viz Whereas Mary Ong
formerly McGrew hath had a birth right amongst us the people called Quakers but
hath so far given away to a libertine spirit as to go away in a disorderly
manner with a young man in the night season to whom we are since informed she
is married contrary to the good order used amongst Friends, for which
misconduct we do hereby disown her the said Mary Ong to be any longer a member
of our society untill her future conduct recommend her worthy which that it may
is our desire for her.”
There is that use of libertine spirit again. It
is believed that Jacob Ong while likely born a Quaker was already disowned for
having served in the Continental Army (8th Regt, Pennsylvania Line) during the
Revolution. Later records indicate they
were restored to the faith and appear in Hopewell Friends records before
migrating to Jefferson County, Ohio.
Next in line of children born to Finley and
Dinah Cox McGrew was Nathan born the 1st day 6th month
1765. Just before his 18th
birthday Nathan celebrates, and like his siblings is reprimanded. Three representatives “had the opportunity
with him since last meeting and inspected in his conduct and acknowledged that
he had been guilty of horse racing and dancing and they were of the mind that
he was not in… situation of mind to condemn his misconduct…prevailing for this
restoration…” [ii]
Three more people of the faith were appointed to pay him another visit. Apparently, horses were in the “blood.” James Cox McGrew is thought to have raised and
sold horses.
The Pennsylvania German and Swiss, enjoyed
folk dance, especially enjoying the fiddle. The Scotch and Irish of other faiths enjoyed
their music and a hornpipe was made by Pennsylvanian, John Durang.[iii] There were taverns and halls for dancing jigs
and English reels. It is not hard to envision the Quaker youth
being drawn to the festivities of their neighbors.[iv]
As
a mother I can only imagine how stressful these infractions were to their
parents who followed the faith so closely. They wished their children the best and that
included their own religious training.
At this writing, the compiler finds only one child, Finley (Jr.), that
the parents can praise for not being called upon for an infraction. With a
sigh, the siblings were not done expressing themselves.
Dinah
(born the 9th day 3rd moth of 1769, named for her mother),
before her 17th birthday along with younger sister Rebecca, only 15
years old, are caught dancing. “…hath
been guilty of dancing therefore this meeting appoints Susanna Wright and Mary
Garretson to unite with Men Friends in treating with them on that account and
support their sence of the situation of their minds to next meeting.” The case continues for several visits with
the girls. Dinah married John Hoop and
this compiler’s ancestor, Rebecca survives her punishment and marries James A.
Mains in the Menallen Monthly Meeting in 1788. Rebecca McGrew Mains is this compiler’s fifth
great grandmother. Rebecca McGrew Mains died the 10th day 11th month 1852 and is buried in the Friends Cemtery, Sewickley, Westmoreland County, Pennsylvania, long forgiven for her youthful indeiscretion with dance.
Oh, yet again, we are
not done with our story. The youngest
daughter of Finley and Dinah Cox McGrew, born 10 September 1776, at sweet 16
marries Presbyterian, William Wilson
(Also the compiler’s fifth great grandparents). A bible record indicates they were married 18
Oct 1792.[v] Providence
Preparative Meeting “…informs that Margaret Wilson formerly McGrew hath
accomplished her marriage with a man not of our society by the assistance of a
magistrate. This meeting appoints Mary Coope and Susannah Talbot to join Men
Friends in a visit to her endeavor to lay before her the inconsistency of their
conduct and without sufficient cause to forbear prepare a testimony against
her…next meeting.”[vi]
The youngest son of Finley and Dinah Mcgrew, Jacob was born
circa 1779. When about 21 years old he
married his cousin Jane McGrew, the daughter of James Blackburn McGrew and
Elizabeth McFerran McGrew.[vii] The minutes for
the 6th mo 1800 and 7th month 1801 state “The Friends
of Jacob and Jane McGrew’s case report the service is performed and have
returned the testimony being as follows – Whereas Jacob McGrew and Jane his
wife (they being first cousins) that so far deviated from the good order
established amongst us as to accomplish their marriage by the assistance of a
hireling teacher for which we disown them from membership with us until
they…become sensible of their error and make satisfaction to Friends which that
they may is our desire.”[viii] [ix] It is not unusual to find cousin marriages when doing
early genealogy. The Quaker’s were ahead
of their time concerning this rule for first cousins. Two generations later George Graham would
marry Mary Jane Mains, 2nd cousins plus man and wife.
All of these siblings
were active in their communities, raised children that went on in many walks of
life. If not for those that pushed the
limits of things they questioned or did not believe in, I would not be writing
today with music playing in the background.
One of my fondest memories is my mother carefully cleaning a record and
placing it on the record player, swaying to the music. She showed me how she did the jitter bug in
high school with a huge smile on her face.
She also insisted I take cotillion lessons along with social etiquette
of the 1950’s. My first date was at the Country Club for a dance. I must say my
dance card was usually full during my teen years, thanks to her guidance.
It is simpler to end
this tale of religious disobedience with a chart that explains my relationship
of the McGrew’s, Mains and Ong family for the reader.
[i] Swarthmore
College, Swarthmore, Pennsylvania, Minutes, 1780-1811; Collection: Baltimore
Yearly Meeting Minutes; Call Number: RG2/B/M461 1.1.
[ii] Swarthmore
College, Swarthmore, Pennsylvania, Baltimore Yearly Meeting Minutes; Call
Number: RG2/B/M461 1.1.
[iv]
Wood, Robert, “Tavern Frolics” Berks-Mont. Berksmontnews.com. 11 Jul 2016
[v] Dinah Ann
[Wilson] Graham, first edition (Marietta, Ohio: Richardson Printing Corp., 1967),
Page 17, 18.
[vi] Swarthmore
College; Swarthmore, Pennsylvania; Women's Minutes, 1786-1823; Collection:
Quaker Meeting Records; Call Number: MR-O-0050, Page 77.
[vii]
James Blackburn McGrew is a brother of Finley McGrew who married Dinah Cox.
[viii]
Swarthmore
College, Swarthmore, Pennsylvania, Minutes, 1783-1804; Collection: Quaker
Meeting Records; Call Number: RG2/O/R44 1.1 page 296
[ix] Swarthmore
College, Swarthmore, Pennsylvania, Minutes, 1793-1804; Collection: Quaker
Meeting Records; Call Number: MR-O-0051. Given from Redstone
